february is just another f word that we should be offended by

day 4: there are much better months than February 

Let’s talk about how much this month sucks. Not just because it’s in the dead of winter (even though today was +11, or the fact that I actually love winter ha ha,) but because this is a huge transition month. As a student, I have felt the most pressure and most stress in February. Odd, you may say, because it is the shortest month AND we all have reading week. I’m not being grumpy or bitter, it actually sucks.

Let me explain: 

  1. February is when you have to start applying to internships for the summer
  2. Your professors start throwing everything your way and make everything due in the next 10 minutes it seems
  3. The weather is forever constantly changing and S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) is kicking you in the ass 
  4. You realize there are more or less 6 weeks left in school and you must start reevaluating your life for when school ENDS

Can you relate to any of these? 

February has always been super stressful for me. It’s the final crunch in the school year where it’s make it or break it for your final marks, and there is always so much to do. I love pressure, but it always seems like this time is overwhelming. 

S.A.D. stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder, and it’s a type of depression that surfaces in the ever changing weather. This is not a made up disorder, I promise! A significant change in weather, specifically when it gets really cold, can negatively alter one’s emotions and cause them to go into a deep depressive state. This is definitely something I have felt over the winter. Especially with this winter we’ve had, where it’s -20 with snow, to +5, to rainstorms, to freezing. It really does play with your emotions, and is a common disorder for those who are already diagnosed with depression. It definitely makes getting out of bed that much more difficult. I really do love the winter. I grew up playing hockey and skiing, but sometimes when these fun activities aren’t involved, it makes your regular routine more challenging. 

February is also crunch time for the future. Ugh, future. Another ‘f’ word we shouldn’t be allowed to use without making people uncomfortable. February just reminds me school is almost over, there are no more week long breaks, and that the next big holiday is summer, and after summer is REAL LIFE. 

I’m usually not this negative when thinking about my future, but this September will be the first September that I’m not going back to school. That is shocking and weird- I really can’t believe it.  Even though I don’t know what the future holds, I am glad I’ve had this year in Master’s program to experience a completely different type of schooling and meet an entire different group of students. My experience at Ryerson thus far has been so incredibly different (a good different) from Laurier, and I’m glad that this is how I’ll be ending my lifetime of academia. Well, maybe not end forever, but for right now. I’m excited to see where my non-schooling future takes me, and where all this hard work leads me to. 

This post has been a some sort of messy rant, but there were just a lot of thoughts to get out before this month ends, thankfully. If you’re reading, thank you for letting me have this conversation out loud and share in my day to day with you. 

And that’s how I’m feeling today. 

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