day 2: raw and real
#SundayFunday doesn’t always apply to me, and it usually turns into a #SelfCareSunday. I hopefully am not the first person to say this, but self care isn’t always bubble baths, sipping tea, and reading your favourite book. Sometimes, I define self care as being still, journaling, and logging off. Today’s theme is being real, and raw with my emotions, and I had quite the #SelfCareSunday. It’s time to get real, folks.
I think it’s so important to be genuine and honest. I absolutely hate haaaaate this stigma around mental health, and it honestly makes me really sad. I hate that I have to feel embarrassed to say I’m having a mental health day and I don’t know why I’m crying. I hate that I have to make excuses for my mental health and blame my physical health, when nothing is usually wrong.
I was very close to not pulling out my laptop today to write this because I’m having quite the off day. Today, I lay and bed and slept on and off all day, checking my phone very so often, but keeping pretty quiet. Days like this aren’t something I experience too often, but when I do, I know there’s nothing I can do but sleep it off. I’m thankful for my friends who check on me and don’t require an explanation. I’m not thankful for the people who tell me to stop wasting my day and just get outta bed. I understand that not everyone gets it, and I am okay with that. I am just not okay with people not having empathy for others.
Why is it okay to stay in bed when you have the flu, but not okay to stay in bed when you are having a panic attack, or your depression is just making you feel down?
It feels like that’s the question of the hour, and no one yet has come up with an answer to it. But, I really want to change that. I want people, like me, to feel okay and not ashamed to be on medication that is BETTERING themselves. No one wants to feel this way, so why are we shaming them, and making them feel worse…when they are making the steps in the right direction?!
I often hear the cringing phrase, “don’t show your dirty laundry.” For those unfamiliar with it, and haven’t had the privilege of hearing it *eye roll,* it means that you should NOT show the world the negative side of you. Just as you wouldn’t walk around in dirty, smelly clothes, you shouldn’t let your less appealing side show. Keep that shit private! We can’t expect everyone understand, like I’ve have previously stated, but I know we can expect people to adapt, learn, and be less naive. Just as we have adapted so smoothly to technology, something that was so foreign to us, even when I was a kid, how are we not able to understand something that actually affects ourselves and our loved one’s wellbeing?
To be honest, real life comes with the good, the bad, and the ugly. As humans, as a society, you cannot expect us to have our shit together at every waking moment. Or at least, not show it to the public and wait until you’re behind closed doors. What kind of life is that? That isn’t living. That’s hiding.
The purpose as to why I’m writing this post is not to scare you, and is not to point fingers. Absolutely not the reason for why I write. I am giving you the opportunity to educate yourself and learn more about how real poor mental health and mental illnesses are. You may not be struggling with it, but maybe your best friend is, your classmate, your colleague, or your sibling is. It is real, and it surrounds us. Instead of making us feel worse for living with something we don’t always have control over: listen. Be willing to adapt and extend your arms for when someone needs you. Less judgement, more listening.
And that’s how I’m feeling today.