I write everyday. I keep notes on my phone, in a journal beside my bed, and through conversations with my close friends. I don’t find it too difficult to vocalize how I’m feeling, but I worry about how I am burdening people, and if I’m talking too much about an uncomfortable topic: mental health.
As I’ve stated many times before, I keep this blog to publicly discuss my mental health, in hopes that if someone close to me (or a friend of a friend) is going through something similar, they know they are not alone. All I want to do is open up the conversation and do my part in society to eliminate the stigma that is negatively associated with those who are struggling with a mental illness. Medicated or not, seeking therapy or not, I know everyone is going through some sort of battle.
When I’m going through a difficult time, I tend not to sleep well at night. I recognize this as an effect of my depression and I try to talk as much as my brain allows me to, so I don’t get lost in my own thoughts. Whether it’s stress due to my school work, or stress due to my unknown future, I tend to worry a lot which keeps me up until 4 or 5 am. With this, it’s difficult for me to get out of bed and have a great day. Last year, this caused me to miss a lot of school, or go to class and then lie in bed all day.
This is me being real. I know it’s shocking for some to read something so honest and I’ve often been told to keep these comments to myself and not “air my dirty laundry” to others, but honestly, I am not a huge fan of keeping quiet.